life, personal

A kind of writers block that isn’t quite writers block. 

I've had a pretty good few months writing wise. I'd go as far as to say I've been on a creative high. Like, I didn't mean to blog multiple times a week, I didn't plan on my posts consistently surpassing one thousand words. I was proof reading my writing back and actually enjoying the process.… Continue reading A kind of writers block that isn’t quite writers block. 

anxiety, life

A Bell Jar of Stress and Trying to Leave it. 

I accidentally reached the point where who I am as a person is synonymous with being stressed, which was entirely unintentional and not the dazzling personality trait I'd hoped for. Maybe we all should have seen it coming when my Mother used to say I had frog fingers thanks to my bitten away nails making… Continue reading A Bell Jar of Stress and Trying to Leave it. 

mental health, recovery

Inside Outside. (I am in recovery, but it is messy)

I used to tense up when I was told I 'looked better'. I was proud of my disguise, but I also felt a strange sort of disconnect between the girl on the outside and what I was trying to understand about the inside of me. I had this sick belief that I deserved to have… Continue reading Inside Outside. (I am in recovery, but it is messy)

Faith, life

Refocus.

When I got home I was hollow. Cried out. Exhausted. I ended up outside in the dark, laying on the pavement, searching for the stars between porridge clouds. The stars have always been my safe place. One of my first memories is from back in 1999, my family had moved from the city to a… Continue reading Refocus.

mental health, recovery

It Totally and Completely Depends.

Let me preface this with the context that this writing is therapy homework. A blog post and homework all in one. Brilliant. I mean, if you have to kill two birds, you may well use one stone. I call it genius, others probably call it lazy. (off topic, but I don't support the killing of… Continue reading It Totally and Completely Depends.

life, personal

Scattered.

I've been trying to figure out how I feel at this point in my life for a few days now. Nothing really fits. Things are ultimately going pretty well for me on a superficial front, and I'm enjoying that a lot. But. I can't work myself out. I have to know things, a strength and… Continue reading Scattered.

life

I’m Talking to Me. (or, a hypocrite speaks)

Sometimes I want to be together, I want to sound intelligent, well researched. I want to everything to progress through a series of steps until it reaches a conclusion, my life to be like a well-formed essay. Sometimes I think I just need honesty. I am a mess. Like completely. I can’t think of a single… Continue reading I’m Talking to Me. (or, a hypocrite speaks)