mental health, recovery

Protest//Forget

I caught myself kicking off again today. I don't know why my brain does this to me, maybe it's just part of the process of detangling myself, but for some reason my first reaction to a difficult time™ is to completely self destruct. Engaging in conversations that can only go badly. Running 5kms on an… Continue reading Protest//Forget

anxiety, life

A Bell Jar of Stress and Trying to Leave it. 

I accidentally reached the point where who I am as a person is synonymous with being stressed, which was entirely unintentional and not the dazzling personality trait I'd hoped for. Maybe we all should have seen it coming when my Mother used to say I had frog fingers thanks to my bitten away nails making… Continue reading A Bell Jar of Stress and Trying to Leave it. 

mental health, recovery

Inside Outside. (I am in recovery, but it is messy)

I used to tense up when I was told I 'looked better'. I was proud of my disguise, but I also felt a strange sort of disconnect between the girl on the outside and what I was trying to understand about the inside of me. I had this sick belief that I deserved to have… Continue reading Inside Outside. (I am in recovery, but it is messy)

Faith, life

Refocus.

When I got home I was hollow. Cried out. Exhausted. I ended up outside in the dark, laying on the pavement, searching for the stars between porridge clouds. The stars have always been my safe place. One of my first memories is from back in 1999, my family had moved from the city to a… Continue reading Refocus.

mental health, recovery

It Totally and Completely Depends.

Let me preface this with the context that this writing is therapy homework. A blog post and homework all in one. Brilliant. I mean, if you have to kill two birds, you may well use one stone. I call it genius, others probably call it lazy. (off topic, but I don't support the killing of… Continue reading It Totally and Completely Depends.

life

I’m Talking to Me. (or, a hypocrite speaks)

Sometimes I want to be together, I want to sound intelligent, well researched. I want to everything to progress through a series of steps until it reaches a conclusion, my life to be like a well-formed essay. Sometimes I think I just need honesty. I am a mess. Like completely. I can’t think of a single… Continue reading I’m Talking to Me. (or, a hypocrite speaks)

mental health, recovery

To The Bone, a Recovery Reading.

In year 11 and 12 I did top level English. It was an interesting experience for all involved in my education. I was a bit of a mess at that point in my life and had sub-zero confidence in my ability to have an actual opinion on anything. Despite this, one of the most important… Continue reading To The Bone, a Recovery Reading.