art, life, personal

Down Days and Drawing El.

Januarys feel like trying to swim in custard. Treading water, exhausting with no forward motion. I don't like the uncertainty that comes along with the promise of a new year. Anxiety demands that I am in control, with every future step planned. Right now I am very much not in control. I'm desperately job hunting,… Continue reading Down Days and Drawing El.

life, personal

New Year, Vaguely Same Me. (Also, some goals)

By the time this post goes up we will already be ten days into the New Year. Fortunately, there's no one grading me on my submission of goals or I would have failed this year by default. At the end of 2013, I decided I didn't like the idea of resolutions. I then came up… Continue reading New Year, Vaguely Same Me. (Also, some goals)

life, mental health, personal

Paint and Completed Essays.

It's 1:34 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. I am still wearing the clothes I slept in under the oversized shirt I wear when I paint. Six weeks ago I would have been preparing for my psychology class, annotating notes on Erickson and Maslow and psycho-social development. Probably anxiously picking at my nails, simultaneously overwhelmed and… Continue reading Paint and Completed Essays.

life, personal

days before 21.

The weeks before my eighteenth birthday were spent in my bedroom at my aunts, my last school holidays, studying for exams that I knew would never make me worth anything. I said goodbye to my childhood alone, sitting by the lake in my hometown, chopped off hair pulled back from my tired eyes, trying to… Continue reading days before 21.

life, personal

A kind of writers block that isn’t quite writers block. 

I've had a pretty good few months writing wise. I'd go as far as to say I've been on a creative high. Like, I didn't mean to blog multiple times a week, I didn't plan on my posts consistently surpassing one thousand words. I was proof reading my writing back and actually enjoying the process.… Continue reading A kind of writers block that isn’t quite writers block. 

Faith, personal

In the Waiting.

Over the course of this year, my entire life has been shaken up more times than I can count. I feel almost dizzy, my head is spinning still, even in the moments of peace. Residual sea sickness. Throwing up on the pavement. Regardless, I feel the tiniest sparkle of excitement. The Holy Spirit is speaking… Continue reading In the Waiting.

life, personal

Alternate Universes (I’m learning to live in this world)

When I was in school I knew a boy who believed in alternate universes. We had Materials and Design Tech together in year ten, and he'd often find his way to my work bench where he would sit and discuss his theories with me. Theory Boy believed that there could be an infinite number of… Continue reading Alternate Universes (I’m learning to live in this world)