life, personal

days before 21.

The weeks before my eighteenth birthday were spent in my bedroom at my aunts, my last school holidays, studying for exams that I knew would never make me worth anything. I said goodbye to my childhood alone, sitting by the lake in my hometown, chopped off hair pulled back from my tired eyes, trying to… Continue reading days before 21.

life, personal

A kind of writers block that isn’t quite writers block. 

I've had a pretty good few months writing wise. I'd go as far as to say I've been on a creative high. Like, I didn't mean to blog multiple times a week, I didn't plan on my posts consistently surpassing one thousand words. I was proof reading my writing back and actually enjoying the process.… Continue reading A kind of writers block that isn’t quite writers block. 

Faith, personal

In the Waiting.

Over the course of this year, my entire life has been shaken up more times than I can count. I feel almost dizzy, my head is spinning still, even in the moments of peace. Residual sea sickness. Throwing up on the pavement. Regardless, I feel the tiniest sparkle of excitement. The Holy Spirit is speaking… Continue reading In the Waiting.

life, personal

Alternate Universes (I’m learning to live in this world)

When I was in school I knew a boy who believed in alternate universes. We had Materials and Design Tech together in year ten, and he'd often find his way to my work bench where he would sit and discuss his theories with me. Theory Boy believed that there could be an infinite number of… Continue reading Alternate Universes (I’m learning to live in this world)

life, personal

Scattered.

I've been trying to figure out how I feel at this point in my life for a few days now. Nothing really fits. Things are ultimately going pretty well for me on a superficial front, and I'm enjoying that a lot. But. I can't work myself out. I have to know things, a strength and… Continue reading Scattered.

Faith, personal

Work and Rest are a Surprisingly Difficult Balance.

My entire life exists in extremes. I've felt like this for a long time. I'm either working myself to the point of exhaustion or letting my life just stop. I don't know how to just exist anymore. Maybe I never have? I've spent a lot of time stopped in the last two years. I fulfil… Continue reading Work and Rest are a Surprisingly Difficult Balance.

mental health, personal

Thoughts on Rock Bottom

A few months ago Paramore released a new album, the first in a long time. Like last time there was a new Paramore album I was in high school and had a halfhearted emo fringe. So I was excited. It's a good album. It’s different, but I love it. But this post is not a… Continue reading Thoughts on Rock Bottom