Washing Machine Prayers

If I could find a way to put the last few months into paragraphs, I would, but right now I am faced with a washing machine full of words. If I open it now everything will spill out, tangled in soap and dirty water, and I will be swamped. I’ve searched everywhere I can think…

Refocus.

When I got home I was hollow. Cried out. Exhausted. I ended up outside in the dark, laying on the pavement, searching for the stars between porridge clouds. The stars have always been my safe place. One of my first memories is from back in 1999, my family had moved from the city to a…

In the Waiting.

Over the course of this year, my entire life has been shaken up more times than I can count. I feel almost dizzy, my head is spinning still, even in the moments of peace. Residual sea sickness. Throwing up on the pavement. Regardless, I feel the tiniest sparkle of excitement. The Holy Spirit is speaking…

Work and Rest are a Surprisingly Difficult Balance.

My entire life exists in extremes. I've felt like this for a long time. I'm either working myself to the point of exhaustion or letting my life just stop. I don't know how to just exist anymore. Maybe I never have? I've spent a lot of time stopped in the last two years. I fulfil…

Everything gets bad again. (and, an optimistic life spoiler)

I was sitting in bed the other night, half doing a strange combination of things, scrolling through Tumblr, listening to whatever music came up next on shuffle, reading. Mostly thinking. There’s always this strange period of time, a kind of limbo, between taking my night meds and when they actually kick in properly and I fall…